Family Matters

Mi’kmaw Family and Children’s Services of Nova Scotia is honored to present a Christmas feature story of a foster family who works together to raise their kids. Our story begin with of course Kiju (Grandmother).

Like every celebrity icon, they usually go by one name, like Madonna or Cher. Well Eskasoni has one such icon and she goes by the name of Sugar. Madeline “Sugar” Poulette is a well-known Mi’kmaq elder from Eskasoni. Sugar is multi-talented in the performing arts, the art of storytelling, sharing her Mi’kmaq knowledge and especially teaching the traditional dice game of waltes. She is loved by so many because of her youthful persona and her playful sense of humor.

At age 70 years young, Sugar grew up in Membertou and married at a young age of 18 to the love of his life, Walter. She moved to Eskasoni and they raise two beautiful hard working daughters, Cindy and Menia. Sugar and Walter were married for almost 50 year. Walter passed away in October of 2016.

Sugar and Walter married in 1969 but they didn’t have a home till 1971. Sugar will never forget her first home, “Our first house was a shanty, it used to be a basket shop. Walter put a stove and fridge in it. It was the size of this kitchen, with no running water or bathroom,” said Sugar.

Few years later Sugar and Walter got a new home. Sugar said, “Living with Walter we were always busy. Walter was a pulp man but he did so much more in order to put food on the table.” Sugar said, “We did everything together as a family. From fishing, blueberry picking, potato picking, and we also did Christmas wreaths for many years and that’s how we got our Christmas money. We helped Walter chop wood, peal wood, we had a little farm, cows and chickens. We never stayed idle. That was just part of who we were,” said Sugar.

When we asked Sugar how she got into foster care, she didn’t really have a direct answer. It was more of a natural progression. She said, “Before there was MFCSNS I was already taking care of my little sister. She live with us when I got married. My sister and her kids live with us at one time also.”

Sugar started reflecting on her youth growing up in Membertou, she said in her own words, “We were dirt poor.” Sugar had 14 siblings and their home had no electricity or running water, “My father use to work until he had tuberculosis. There was 14 of us but no one was never home, I felt people never wanted to come to my house, my father was always drinking, I was always embarrassed of our home and embarrassed of my father's drinking,” said Sugar.

Sugar said she was never home and always visited her friends, “I would have supper there and I would do their dishes.” Sugar also said, “Growing up, we were never told to do anything, never got disciplined, never had chores and I think that's the biggest sin is not to discipline your child. You have to discipline those you love.”

So Sugar felt this was her only way that she could pay it back, “Safety of a home means a lot. Even the food doesn’t really matter, long as you could go home, somebody there that's waiting for you and wants to see what you can do or to come home and what you have brought home from school. Nobody ever came to me for my papers or my report card, nobody,” said Sugar.

“I want them to have place to go, safe, happy, lots of love and responsibility. If you’re not taught responsibility, to do your chores, what’s expected of you? You don't expect anything of yourself. That’s the way I feel. I felt like I didn't have to accomplish anything, why would I?” added Sugar.

Sugar said the first time they took a child in, it was a little boy from children’s aid in Sydney. The little boy was from Membertou and was two years old. Sugar said it was actually her daughter Cindy who pressured her parents to take in a child. Cindy was still too young to be a foster parent then but she promised her parents that he will take care of the boy. That was 27 years ago.

Today Sugar says we work as a team, “Me, my sister Joanne, my daughters, Amanda, and my grandson Walter Sean Ryan, we always help each, all of us taking care of a child,” said Sugar. Together they have taken in over 30 children. “I couldn’t do it without them,” added Sugar.

Foster kids who have left, they still call me Kiju. Sometime they would come for thanksgiving or special occasions. They are always welcome in our home. Sugar added, “We didn't take them as foster kids, we consider them our kids.”

Sugar will never forget the time when they moved into their new house. She kept it spotless and neat. “One day my brother came to visit and said, ‘I like your house but I'm scared to move.’ I said what! He said your house is no longer a home and that hurt me, cause everything it's in place. He said before you had a home, where everyone was welcome. That day I change, my house is now a home,” said Sugar.

“When have parties, we have big parties. Sometime our parties will have like 200 or 300 people. We have to have an open invitation, we invite the whole family, they are welcome to come to the party, we all chip in, and everyone’s cooking, like a pot luck. Like the Mi'kmaq way of helping each other. We invite all our friends. Our house is a home,” said Sugar.

Sugar said being a foster parent is a hard job, “Not everybody can be a foster parent, there’s no money in it. You have to want to help a family to take a child in from the bottom of your heart.”

For Cindy being a foster parent is all about love. “I love kids, I love watching them and a love taking them everywhere. We teach them language and rosary, both in Mi'kmaq and English. We also go fishing, get branches for wreathes and we take them to extracurricular activities,” said Cindy.

Cindy said she started with respite, watching kids during the weekends, then we started becoming foster parents with kinship family. It was actually Cindy’s son, Walter Sean Ryan, who was 10 years old at the time and said he was bored and said let’s call Mi’kmaw family and let’s take children in.

Having lot of kids around the house was the way of life in Sugar’s family. Cindy said, “My grandmother always came with lots of kids and Joanne brought her grandkids, we were just used to having lots of kids in the house.”

Cindy said, “I couldn't take care of kids if I didn't have my family. Before I even take a kid I have to ask my family if we want to take a kid. We would all discuss this before we decide. We have a support system. I work all day so Amanda would take care of the kid during the day.”

For Cindy’s sister Menia, she is always there for her sister, mother, Joanne and Amanda. “I love babysitting. We love taking them everywhere. We all go everywhere. We usually take two cars. We love going to all the Mi'kmaq events like summer games and powwows. We go Potlotek during mission time and we teach them prayers, about St. Anne and we tell them to help people coming to the island and they might get paid for helping.”

The advice Cindy said she would give to parents who are thinking of becoming foster parents is to ask themselves, “Do you have time in your heart?”

“Children grows up fast and each kid knows if they are loved or not loved. If you love a child they will know and they will love you forever. Time goes fast. Lots of kids need homes. Once a child get stability and comfort of home they will not want to leave,” said Cindy.