Love Fills the Void

Most often you don’t hear or know about foster parents or families that go above and beyond just foster care. In this special feature story from Mi’kmaw Family and Children Services of Nova Scotia (MFCSNS) we are honored to celebrate and give special thanks to three generations of foster families. They are the Melanson and the Hallett family who have been fostering Mi’kmaq children for over 14 years in the valley area of Nova Scotia.

This three generation foster family affair is all about filling the void with Love. For Mary Ann Melanson (Gram) and daughter Melanie Ann Hallett and her husband Rick, the decision to become foster parents was a simple choice of helping those who need help.

In Melanie’s younger years she knew what it was like to be alone and needing help. For Rick he was a foster child and was raised by a loving foster family. Today Melanie and Rick’s daughter just recently became a foster parent because their daughter grew up with foster siblings.

When Melanie’s mother Mary Ann Melanson was seriously thinking about being a foster parent just after her retirement 15 years ago. Both Melanie and mom Mary Ann decided to do it together and they both applied to become foster parents.

What inspired Mary Ann to become a foster parent those many years ago had to do more with faith and not knowing what to do after her retirement. So for many days she prayed and smudged and asked the creator to send her a message.

Not soon after, a lady from Mi’kmaw Family and Children’s Services came up to Mary Ann and asked her if she wanted to be a foster parent to a little boy. Once she saw the picture of the little baby boy she told the lady to bring him here.

Mary Ann said, “The creator send him to me because I always wanted a boy. And 14 years later he is still my boy.”

During those year’s Mary Ann would do emergency respite care for Mi’kmaw Family. Before Mary Ann and Melanie move to a new home, they had a big house with 5 bedrooms and plenty of extra clothes. They would take in foster kids on short term. Mary Ann said during her emergency respite care times she said she probably cared for over 80 children.

Mary Ann recently retired from emergency respite but still tries to keep in touch with her foster kids through social media, “I’m known to my kids as Gram. They may not know Mary Ann but they know Gram,” laughed Mary Ann.

For Mary Ann’s daughter, Melanie Ann Hallett, she was a full time registered nurse before being involved in foster care. Melanie Ann is the only foster parent from Mi’kmaw Family who cares for children with severe special needs and medical conditions in Nova Scotia.

Because of Melanie’s background, she is a full time care at home foster parent and has to be available to the children 24/7. Melanie and Rick care for 2 special complex need children and a foster kid who will be graduating this year.

For Melanie and Rick caring for special complex need children is self-rewarding especially when you see the progress of the children before they first arrived at their home.

“I don't refer to them as my foster kid, I say, ‘This is my boy.’ They don't need that stigmatism on them, I don't feel that’s the appropriate way to identify children in care in our families, because if we consider them as foster children then we really don't have the heart to have them,” said Melanie.

As respite foster parents, Melanie and Mary Ann always made it their mission to instill the Mi’kmaq culture with all the Mi’kmaq children in their care, “Our children with medical needs still participate in powwows and have their own regalia. We spend time in other First Nations so they know who they are. No matter where you live, your culture should not be taken from you.”

“Sometimes when you get the kids in care, sometime they are not proud of who they are or where they come from. We have spent a lot of time letting them feel proud and taking them and showing them all the positives,” said Melanie.

“As foster parents it up to us to make them even prouder of who they are. (It’s) important that they know aboriginal people all across the province, living everywhere and succeeding in many different ways. I think those children need to be proud of who they are and where they come from before any healing can take place,” added Melanie.

Melanie only has great praise for the social worker from MFCSNS, “Through the years of me fostering for Mi'kmaw Family I have been treated extremely well. When we as foster parents have a good working relationship with an understanding, caring social worker, our foster care experience is much better. That's the key to having good homes and happy children, it is our social workers.”

“I believe it's important for social workers to spend ample amount of time with foster families and the children and so that they could see them as a family unit. Our home is open 24/7 to the agency, they don't need to call, they could pop in, that's how it should be,” said Melanie.

“I know what it was like to need help. That’s why I do it. I chose to be a foster parent. If I could reunite a child with mother and father and letting them know that their child is safe. I know what it feels to be alone. Giving that support back to other families is important so that the parents can get their act together and make it possible for them to come back home,” said Melanie.

Melanie also stressed the importance of having a good working relationship with the biological parents. She say it makes fostering so much better for the children, “They need to see us not as bad people but that we love them too. Takes a village to raise a child. That is one of the best experience I had when the biological parents were on board. The child felt better, I felt better and they felt better.”

Melanie added that it’s important for the children to see that you not trying to replace anybody, you are just trying to help, “And if you can be part of a healthy reunification that’s a wonder feeling.”

So in Melanie’s own words, “Love fills the void.” But after meeting Melanie, Rick and Gram, you realize that void is not only for the child in care but also for the foster parents.

On behalf of Mi’kmaq Family and Children’s Services of Nova Scotia we are extremely grateful to the Melanson and the Hallett family for sharing their foster family story. If you are thinking of becoming a foster parent contact Mi’kmaw Family at mfcs.ca.

Hallettfamily – It’s a three generation foster family affair for the Melanson and the Hallett family who have been fostering Mi’kmaq children for over 14 years in the valley area of Nova Scotia. In photo from left is Mary Ann Melanson (Gram) and daughter Melanie Ann Hallett and her husband Rick. Melanie and Rick’s daughter just recently became a foster parent.